Understanding your role as a caregiver to an older adult, spouse or parent is an extremely crucial and often emotional role. The complex responsibilities of caring for an aging loved one, encompass various aspects of daily living, from physical care to emotional support and beyond.
When faced with the decision of whether or not to consider assisted living options, many caregivers find themselves faced with complex emotions; but seeking help doesn’t need to result in feelings of guilt. Instead, it can be an opportunity to re-establish and enjoy a parent/child relationship, without the complexities of being a caregiver.
Understanding Your Role
Understanding your role as a caregiver means you will find yourself in several different areas of need. A few of your roles may include but are not limited to, assisting with physical care and daily activities, household and financial management, support with medical and health needs, emotional support, and advocacy.
Helping with personal hygiene tasks such as bathing, dressing, toileting, and other everyday needs can sometimes result in strained relationships between the caregiving adult child and their aging parents. Moving from dependent as a child to the caregiver as an adult can bring about complex emotions and can often leave the caregiver feeling unsettled, guilty for not feeling like they are doing enough, afraid of making the wrong decision, and exhausted by trying to do it all. These feelings are not uncommon but don’t have to be your reality.
Taking Care of Yourself
When caring for others, it is important to remember to also take care of yourself. This may seem like an impossible task for some, but you can’t pour from an empty cup.
If you are mentally, emotionally, and physically drained you may find yourself struggling to offer this support to those you care for. If you find yourself in this situation, you may find yourself wondering what you can realistically do to help this get better.
It may be as simple as ensuring that you schedule time for you to take part in self-care-type activities or looking into who in your life may be able to “tag” you out for a much-needed break. Considering things that can make daily life easier such as transportation, meal services, or even home health care options can help ease the load from your shoulders.
What are Your Options
If you find yourself in a position where you are considering care options that offer more support, there are two important things to keep in mind. The first is knowing when to ask for help, and the second is ensuring you pick a community designed to help your loved one thrive.
Asking for help is not a weakness, it actually takes an enormous amount of strength. A common misconception is that when your loved one joins an assisted living community, is that you are essentially “giving up on them” or “just putting them in a home.” This is just not an accurate picture of what this decision can be.
Assisted living communities are built to support the needs of your aging parent or loved one, this allows you to step back into the role of being a son or daughter. The stress and pressure of being the primary caregiver is shifted to the professionals running the assisted living community. Now you are able to shift your focus from caregiving to enjoying and cultivating your relationship with your loved one.
Choosing an Assisted Living Community
When choosing an assisted living community it is important to take into account the needs of your aging loved one and the resources available to them through the community.
At Cappella of Grand Junction, we provide purposeful assisted living and memory care centered around our residents. We aim to give residents support tailored to help them live a full life as independently and privately as possible while still providing services and support to help them thrive.
The Eden Alternative has stated that “the bulk of suffering among elders is accounted for by the ‘3 Plagues of Aging’ which are boredom, loneliness, and helplessness.
By choosing an assisted living community that has been Edenized in its approach, you are choosing a community that intentionally addresses these plagues. This can be an enormous weight off of a caregiver’s shoulders. Knowing that your parent or loved one is being cared for not just physically, but spiritually and mentally as well can leave caregiving adult children with feelings of peace instead of feelings of guilt or fear.
To help combat the 3 plagues of aging, we are dedicated to providing support through independence, community enrichment, and social activities. One event we provide is the Memory Cafe. This is a memory care support event where caregivers, adult children, and their loved ones with Alzheimer’s and other cognitive challenges can socialize with others in a similar situation. It is a chance to enjoy delicious food and drinks, listen to music, and relax. Connecting with others in a positive environment such as this can help make the connection outside the caretaking role more manageable and memorable for parents, children, friends, or other loved ones.
The role of a caregiver to an older adult is complex and demanding and requires a blend of practical skills, emotional intelligence, and dedication. By allowing Cappella of Grand Junction to provide comprehensive care across various aspects of daily living, you can enjoy a child/parent relationship once again, guilt-free.
